Quick Tips for Dealing with Anger and Anxiety

Staying home can be surprisingly stressful, as are the changes that have happened in people's job statuses.  As a result of all that we may be feeling emotions like anger and anxiety a bit more often than normal.   

Anger and anxiety are close cousins. Both are difficult emotions, but there are ways to deal with them.  Here are some ideas for how to help yourself calm down and feel better.  

When you notice you are angry or anxious,  PAUSE and try focusing your attention in one or two of these ways.

1. Slow your breathing down and to make your outbreaths up to two times longer than your in breaths.  Count 4-5 breathing in, count 8-10 breathing out.  Do this for about 10 breaths and take another ten if you need to!    
2. Focus attention on breathing out and count from 1-10 every time you breath out.
3. If you are standing, or if you can stand, then focus on the bottom of your feet and feel them on the ground.  Imagine your feet with roots going down into the earth.  It is also a really good thing to do in the supermarket queue if you need something to keep you entertained while you wait.  It has a surprisingly calming effect.
4. See if you can broaden the scope of what you are looking at - so look more out of the corners of your eyes rather than just straight ahead.  See how wide a view you can see.
5. When you notice you are getting anxious or angry, see if you can feel what is happening in your body - is your throat tight or  is your stomach clenched?   See if you can actively try to breath into those places and soften the tight muscles.   

You can practice doing these things when you find yourself with some spare time.  Practicing them when you don't need them makes them much easier and quicker to use when you do need them.  You've got nothing to lose by trying, so just give it a go.

For more information and links to mental health resources, check out this post

Looking after your Mental Health

In Christchurch, we have had quite a bit of practice at looking after our mental health in the years after the earthquakes struck.  We have got this! All the same principles apply here as they did around previous events.  We may just have to do them a little bit differently, depending on the situations that we find ourselves in. 

Perhaps the first thing to remember is that it is quite normal to be feeling worried or stressed about Covid 19 and the things that it is doing to our world.  

Connect: This may be more challenging if you are keeping away from physically meeting people you can still  connect over the phone or over the internet in whichever way suits you.  You can also visit people but just keep a good distance between yourself and the other people (1 to 2 metres) and if you can meet out of doors then that is even better.  A great option is to get out and walk with others (and then you keep active AND connect)!  
Here is a feel good article about some folks in Christchurch who are offering help.  The best way to do this is to band together locally (ideally in your street) so that you can contact each other for help if needed and that help is managed in small groups.   Swapping phone numbers and arranging to check on people near you at regular intervals is a good idea.

Get yourself a phone buddy or two, particularly if you live alone, so that you can keep an eye on each other. If you know people around you who live alone, perhaps offer to be their buddy.  Ring or text each other every day.  If someone in your group is sick then ring them twice a day.  Make a plan about what you will do if someone gets sick and needs help (work out who you will call, whether you can enlist help with deliveries for food, medicine etc.   GET STARTED ON THIS RIGHT NOW – it is a great practice, even if there is no pandemic.

Take notice:  Notice the beauty in the world around your home. Take time to feel the sun on your skin, breathe in fresh air whenever you can, make a list of what you’re grateful for, take the time to thank someone for how they make you feel, do a mindfulness exercise on YouTube, watch the plants in your home or outside your window.  Grow some microgreens.

Keep active  Go for a walk or run in a local park or round the local streets.  Say hello to those you see as you pass them (keeping a good space between you and them!).  See how many smiles you can give away each time.  Do a yoga class online (just stay 2m away from others!), use the cans in the pantry as weights, stretch.

Give !  Give smiles or waves, give encouragement to others who might be struggling, offer help to others.  Be kind.  Give compliments.  Give people a ring to keep in touch.  Share stuff, if you can.  Think of everything you do to limit the spread or Covid 19 as something you are giving to others.  There are many ways for you to get out there and GIVE without putting yourself at risk!

Focus on what you can control rather than on what you cannot.

Here are a few resources for helping you stay on top of things

Loads of Free mental health resources are available from this page on the NZ Governments Covid 19 Website.
 
Here are some Covid 19 related resources on depression.org.nz's website  

This looks like a pretty good and comprehensive resource that has been put together for people in Vancouver, Canada 
 
Rick and Forrest Hanson have a great series of podcasts on staying mentally well and they have made this one specifically about dealing with fear in the time of coronavirus

This is the Ministry of Health resource on looking after your mental health 

A CNN article on the topic of mental health  
Feel free to add any other resources that you have found in the comments.

A Guardian article on managing anxiety 

A blog post with some simple options for dealing with anxiety or anger in the moment

Things YOU can do to Help slow the spread of Covid 19

1) Stay home if you are feeling unwell

2) Phone Healthline on 0800 358 5453 to get information about what to do if you think you have Covid 19 
Whatever you do, do NOT just head for the hospital or your local doctor. 

3) Keep 1-2 metres physical distance between you and others
No hugging hongi or shaking hands - use your imagination and do something different!



4) Be a Phone Buddy
Offer to help a neighbour as a phone buddy, particularly if they live alone.  If you live alone, then find two others and get yourself into a team of three, so that you can keep an eye on each other.  Ring or text each other every day, preferably at the same time.  If someone in your group is sick then ring them twice a day.  

Make a plan together about what you will do if someone gets sick and needs help.  Think about  what you will do if they don't answer the phone.   Think about who you will call, or whether you will knock on their door or window.  (if you do go round please remember to keep a good distance from each other.
GET STARTED ON THIS RIGHT NOW – it is a great practice, even if there is no pandemic.

5) Wash your Hands Often
Wash your hands for 20 -30 seconds after you’ve touched shared surfaces, especially before eating, and avoid touching your face. This Corona virus is spread in tiny droplets on that land on surfaces, which we may inadvertently touch. Then, when we touch our mouth, nose, or eyes, we can infect ourselves. Dry your hands well when you are done.

6) Wipe surfaces of all descriptions often
Keep surfaces that you are touching as clean as you can.  Wipe down handles, toilet flushers, etc with some bleach – diluted in water.  

7) Practice good cough and sneeze etiquette. 
 Cover your mouth with your forearm or the inside of your elbow when you cough or sneeze unexpectedly.  Use a tissue to cover your nose and mouth completely, and dispose of a tissue after one use.

8) Try not to touch public surfaces with your fingers; get creative! 

Where possible, use knuckles rather than finger tips (e.g., for lift buttons, light switches, etc.). Open doors with your hips rather than your hands. You may use your elbows to open door handles, if it’s an option. Use a sleeve to open a doorknob if needed.

9) Be kind and give

  Being kind is a type of giving.  Thank people who help you, give people compliments, encourage those around you, SMILE, say hello, give people a ring to keep in touch.  Share stuff, if you can. Think of everything you do to limit the spread or Covid 19 as something you are giving to others. There are many ways for you to get out there and GIVE without putting yourself at risk.

10) Keep yourself well
Look after your general physical health.

• Eat well including lots fruit and vegetables, 
• Get plenty of sleep, 
• Keep active - Get out for walks or bike rides, and enjoy being out of doors. Dance or find some classes on YouTube   
• Get plenty of fresh air.
• Get some time with the sun on your skin - to help keep your vitamin D levels up

11) Look after your Mental Health 
This page provides some links to online resources and a bit of a summary that might help you look after your mental health.  Keeping your equanimity is important for you and for those around you and there are ways to help do that even in times of stress and change.